The Liberating Truth About Public Speaking: It’s Not About You
You're the Guide, Not the Hero: How to Get Past the Imposter Syndrome and Enjoy Being On Stage
Many people view public speaking as they view acting: a domain for the extroverted and naturally gifted. This perception is a polarizing truth that often discourages those who assume they lack these inherent traits. The belief is that to be engaging, fun, and inspiring, one must be naturally charismatic and outgoing.
However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Public speaking, much like acting, is not solely about the individual’s charisma. Many actors struggle with imposter syndrome, feeling inadequate despite their success. Their drive to continue often stems from a deep love for their craft, not from a natural confidence.
The Real Goal of Public Speaking
The true essence of public speaking is not about the speaker but about the message they wish to convey. It is a humble task where the speaker acts as a vessel, delivering a gift of knowledge, inspiration, or insight to their audience. As Chris Anderson, the curator of TED, puts it, the goal is to “build in your listener’s mind an extraordinary gift that we call an idea.”
Here are three golden rules to remember:
1. You are the guide, not the hero
Your role is to lead your audience through a journey of ideas, not to seek admiration for yourself.
2. Serve the message
Your primary mission is to deliver the message effectively, making it the star of the presentation.
3. Focus on the message, not yourself
When you center your attention on the message, you alleviate the pressure of self-judgment and performance anxiety.
Personal Insight: A Tale of Transformation
Let me divulge a personal secret: I am discreet at cocktail parties and networking events. Initiating conversations and maintaining small talk is a significant challenge, as I can quickly feel boring and dull. However, give me a purpose, a topic to discuss, or an official duty, and I am transformed: I become open, extroverted, and engaging.
The same transformation happens when I speak about a topic I am passionate about. My focus shifts to delivering the message and sharing my awe and excitement. At that moment, I no longer feel judged because it’s not about me anymore: it is about the message I’m delivering. This shift in focus allows me to enjoy being on stage, as it has become a platform to share a gift rather than a stage for personal performance.
Embrace the Message, Enjoy the Stage
The key to enjoying public speaking lies in connecting deeply with your message. Understand why it matters to you and why you want to share it with your audience. This connection allows you to transcend self-consciousness and become a medium for the message.
In essence, public speaking is about focusing on the gift you are delivering, not on yourself. When you shift your focus from self-presentation to message delivery, you not only engage your audience more effectively but also find greater joy and satisfaction in speaking. Embrace this liberating truth and watch your public speaking experience transform.
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Upskill yourself or your team
Are you looking for a personal coaching for your next big speech? Do you want to equip your team with the skill of speaking with impact?
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It's comforting to think about public speaking like this. Some of my students struggle with presentations because they feel self-conscious so I'll be sure to share your post with them.